"WE ARE BEING HARASSED BY OUR NEIGHBOUR, WHAT CAN WE DO?"

Therapist A is a counsellor with a psychodynamic approach with experience of working with adults and young people.

Therapist A is currently unavailable

Therapist B is a Relate-trained counsellor with experience of working with relationship issues and is an experienced couples counsellor
I'm very sorry that you are having such a bad experience with your neighbour & can understand that you are worried about what to do next. It is of course always difficult to complain about a neighbour in a small hamlet, but I wonder if you could perhaps talk to anyone nearby who might have known her before her husband died & find out if she has any family contacts who could be alerted that she seems lonely, distressed & is being aggressive towards you?

Otherwise it is quite often useful to go to your local mairie & ask to have a quiet word with the maire as they often have considerable influence & local knowledge, & could give some good advice, especially if you go with a genuine concern for someone who might be showing signs of mental health illness. I know she is English, but presumably she is also a local resident & pays her taxes as do the French residents?

Perhaps it would help if you could write out a chronological list with rough dates & descriptions of the incidents you have mentioned so that the maire could get a clear idea of the sequence of events & then at least you will have lodged your concerns with someone official without having to take the formal step of complaining to the gendarmes - as you said you do need positive proof for that to be effective. It may well come to that eventually if your neighbour causes any more damage, but hopefully you might be able to get help before anything else happens?

A last thought is to see if there are any British expat groups in your nearby town who might be able to give advice in a case like this as it must be very worrying to feel that you are the target of such animosity & it might help to talk it through with others who might have had similar experiences?

Please let us know how you get on as any information you can give could be helpful for any others along in the same situation.
Therapist C is a psychoanalytic psychotherapist with experience of working with relationship and many other issues.
It sounds as though your neighbour is suffering a lot and this is causing her to behave in a way that is threatening. You write about an incident between her cat and your dog. Were things OK before that incident? I wonder what it is that makes her hate English people, especially as she is English. This could mean that somewhere she also hates herself. You mention that you tried to help her when her husband died. Would it be possible for you to try and approach her again and see how she reacts?

On a more practical level, I would suggest keeping a diary of the incidents and of their time and date so that you have some evidence of what is happening. How is your neighbour with the other neighbours? From what you say about her, it does sound as though she needs some sort of psychological help and it might be worthwhile your talking to your GP to see what he can suggest. It might also be worthwhile seeking legal advice as to what you can so about the situation.