"I AM DEPRESSED AND ISOLATED IN FRANCE - SHOULD I
GO BACK?"
My
problem is that I came to France to join my partner. I
found making this decision very hard and scary, giving
up friends and family and job etc. I secured a
sabbatical until the end of this year. I now have to
make a decision about going back or giving my job up
completely. Work wants to know now and I am keeping them
waiting for my reply, which puts a lot of pressure on.
Things haven't gone as well as planned here. I feel
isolated as we don't live in town but about 50 mins
drive away. Some things are good, have made some friends
and joined a choir but have not managed to get work. My
partner and I clash a lot and although we've had lovely
times together, the majority of the time has been
difficult. I have had periods of depression and have not
done very much in the house which is being renovated. I
have also struggled with learning French, partly lack of
motivation and partly because I am so isolated I only
talk to people on a regular basis to shop. Some time we
feel as if we are getting somewhere and things seem more
hopeful, I want to move to town and this has been
considered seriously by my partner, even though he
doesn't really want this. But we have got to a point of
arguing badly and viciously and it's hard to recover. He
blames me for not trying hard enough here. I can go back
to my job...but I feel panicky at the thought of this,
facing everyone and also because I had already become
very sick of things with it. I do miss, however my
independent salary and my family and friend and own home
in England. I feel if I go back it will be the end of my
relationship. I am in a bad state with all this and feel
the pressure is very bad. I am having panic attacks and
feel very depressed. I also feel I am not being
supported in making the decision in a calm way because
my partner and I just argue and he says he now wants me
to go back to England. Then he will say he doesn't and I
feel he is being very careless with my life because I
could make the decision and then he changes. Previously
I have always trusted him in everything and he has
previously been supportive. I think my depression has
got to him. I am not always depressed but am often
depressed here.
ANSWERS
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